Wow, what a week this has been so far! Very overwhelming at times, but I am learning a lot about leadership through this trial. The last week (Feb. 14-18) our topic appropriately was relationships taught by the director of the base, Marjolein. In this DTS, we have two students who were starting to flirt with one another since week 2 and we had warned them continuously about crossing the lines especially because they both have significant others at home. Unfortunately they physically crossed the line this last weekend and were caught by base staff. We had to confront the students and reevaluate why they are doing this school and what they truly want from this experience. Through this evaluation and recognizing their motivation, the leadership made a decision to send the guy student home and the girl student could stay (she is one of my one-on-one students). So I had to be a part of the all day meetings between base staff and school leadership in determining her future here at the school. It was so difficult and exhausting because we all love both of these students and I think even more difficult was seeing them hurting and making a bad decision that led to this kind of hurt. The male student left the base today and the students are now in the process of healing and letting go of one of their friends. One thing I know is that God is using this situation for His good though as Romans 8:28 says “And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
In addition to this issue, one of our students had stomach pain on Sunday night and so I had to take her to the emergency room to find out what was going on. The doctors did some tests and found out that she had an inflamed gall bladder and this could only mean surgery if not resolved. This brought another level of stress on the school because her mom said that if she indeed needed surgery then she not complete the school, but come home to the U.S. for this operation. God is our healer though, and I took her back to the hospital on Tuesday to run some more tests and the doctors were surprised and confused because there was no longer any swelling of the gall bladder! We have no answers as to the cause or anything, but we know that God has healed her as we all prayed for the last 2 days. J
I unfortunately was unable to really attend the classes during relationships week or Father heart of God as I have been now working towards preparing for our team’s outreach to Ecuador. I am very excited, but a little overwhelmed at the task as well. I will be leading a team (along with another guy Pablo) of 7 incredible students! I am being challenged in so many ways, first as the main leader of the outreach, but also God is challenging me in that along with Pablo we are the only people who speak any Spanish going to Ecuador! The Lord is opening so many doors for us already in Ecuador in Quito (the capital of the country), working in an orphanage in the Andes, and working with an Indigenous group in the Amazon region. Please pray with me that God would lead us to be a group led and directed by His Holy Spirit. We want Exodus 33:15-16 to be our heart beat for this trip: “If Your presence does not go wtih us, do not bring us up from here. For how then will it be known that Your people and I have found grace in Your sign, except You go with us? So we shall be separate, Your people and I, from all the people who are upon the face of the earth.”
Through all of these trials, God is teaching me much about leadership! I have realized that through these last couple of weeks I have tried to do things in my own strength and power. This week I was broken and realized that I cannot continue on in my own strength, but need to rely on Him for EVERYTHING! I have no answers, nothing to offer except what He gives me and what He does through me! In these last weeks, I have doubted my abilities as a leader and felt very discouraged, but God has been using so many people to encourage me in the gifts that He has given me for leadership and He Himself is showing me my gifts as well. I know God does not give me more than I can handle, and so in this place I am trusting Him with every issue and concern knowing He is in control, NOT me! I know more struggles are coming, but I am ready and learning how to leave my burdens on Him because His burden is easy and His yoke is light (Matthew 11:28-30)! And thank God for His rest…this weekend the leadership is taking a couple of us to Manuel Antonio, a beach city, to get away and rest! This week’s teachings are at the perfect time as well. The theme this week is Destiny by Design, learning how God has created us with a perfect purpose and how to discover what those are in our lives. Please continue to keep me and the group in your prayers as we discover how God has uniquely created each one and our unique purpose!
I now have a phone in Costa Rica! My phone number is: (506) 8603-8948 (they have 8 digit phone numbers). I can also receive text messages!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Awesome week!
God has been speaking to me SO MUCH this week it has been amazing! After such a crazy week last week, this week has been a refreshing change. J This week’s topic was Kingdom Living with our speaker Kenny Peavy.
One thing God has been speaking to me this week is found in Psalm 100:4 which talks about the key to enter the presence of God which is thanksgiving. The way that we need to enter into God’s presence is through a choice of how to position our hearts, which is a heart that is greatful and remembers what God has done for us and who He is. Psalm 22:3 says that He inhabits (dwells) the praises of His people. One way to overcome unbelief and fear in our life is to thank Him for the things He has done. Last week we learned that repentance is no longer defending what the enemy is trying to do in our lives (the lies that we have believed). So many leave the church because they have never truly encontered God…they have discovered religion which just has a bunch of rules and rituals, but not a revelation of who God is. Church, we must encounter and experience the love of Christ and that is what we tell people about, not religion!
I was so encouraged this week! I feel like God used this week so much for me, even though so many of our students were blessed also, I felt like this week was for me!!! We had an activity on Tuesday morning to encourage one another with words we felt like God was giving us for each other. One thing Kenny keeps repeating is that we need to esteem each other as God sees us (our destiny, calling, etc.). Many words were affirming me as a leader, which is an area I was really struggling with this week. I have just felt inadequate and just a big spirit of comparison with other leaders and their abilities and giftings. These words came right in time which was awesome!
Then we had a night of worship on Tuesday night and I felt like the Lord gave me a song in my heart and an image of me and God dancing together. It was so beautiful and I was so happy and at peace! Then another staff member came over and starting praying for me and affirming me further as an important leader in this group and how God wants to use this time to refresh me, give me a new identity and love me.
Thursday of this week we went to the beach near Jaco to do baptisms. We had over 24 students get baptized (21 of the DTS students). It was such a great time of renewal and we had an awesome time of praying over them at the end.
He wants to bind up my broken heart and my wounds. I have prayed that He will reveal what is written over me for my life. I have asked Him to reveal to me my value in Him and His love for me. It’s only in glimpses in prayer that we can feel His stare. He heals you by convincing you that you are His favorite and by convicing you of His love for you. I now strive to read the Bible as his love letter to me. I want fresh revelation of who I am to Him and who He is!
The Lord revealed to me this week that my focus has been on so many other things other than Him. So many times it is on my future, what I will be doing in the future, etc. Matthew 6:33 says “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” I have struggled with focusing so much on my desire to get married and have a family, but my real focus needs to be on drawing closer to the Lord.
Our outreach locations have been announced for our DTS- there will be 3 different groups: Africa, Colombia, and Ecuador. I am leading the Ecuador team with another leader and am very excited about it! Please keep our groups in prayer that we find the correct contacts in each location and that God leads each outreach! Thanks so much for your prayers! God bless you all!
One thing God has been speaking to me this week is found in Psalm 100:4 which talks about the key to enter the presence of God which is thanksgiving. The way that we need to enter into God’s presence is through a choice of how to position our hearts, which is a heart that is greatful and remembers what God has done for us and who He is. Psalm 22:3 says that He inhabits (dwells) the praises of His people. One way to overcome unbelief and fear in our life is to thank Him for the things He has done. Last week we learned that repentance is no longer defending what the enemy is trying to do in our lives (the lies that we have believed). So many leave the church because they have never truly encontered God…they have discovered religion which just has a bunch of rules and rituals, but not a revelation of who God is. Church, we must encounter and experience the love of Christ and that is what we tell people about, not religion!
I was so encouraged this week! I feel like God used this week so much for me, even though so many of our students were blessed also, I felt like this week was for me!!! We had an activity on Tuesday morning to encourage one another with words we felt like God was giving us for each other. One thing Kenny keeps repeating is that we need to esteem each other as God sees us (our destiny, calling, etc.). Many words were affirming me as a leader, which is an area I was really struggling with this week. I have just felt inadequate and just a big spirit of comparison with other leaders and their abilities and giftings. These words came right in time which was awesome!
Then we had a night of worship on Tuesday night and I felt like the Lord gave me a song in my heart and an image of me and God dancing together. It was so beautiful and I was so happy and at peace! Then another staff member came over and starting praying for me and affirming me further as an important leader in this group and how God wants to use this time to refresh me, give me a new identity and love me.
Thursday of this week we went to the beach near Jaco to do baptisms. We had over 24 students get baptized (21 of the DTS students). It was such a great time of renewal and we had an awesome time of praying over them at the end.
He wants to bind up my broken heart and my wounds. I have prayed that He will reveal what is written over me for my life. I have asked Him to reveal to me my value in Him and His love for me. It’s only in glimpses in prayer that we can feel His stare. He heals you by convincing you that you are His favorite and by convicing you of His love for you. I now strive to read the Bible as his love letter to me. I want fresh revelation of who I am to Him and who He is!
The Lord revealed to me this week that my focus has been on so many other things other than Him. So many times it is on my future, what I will be doing in the future, etc. Matthew 6:33 says “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” I have struggled with focusing so much on my desire to get married and have a family, but my real focus needs to be on drawing closer to the Lord.
Our outreach locations have been announced for our DTS- there will be 3 different groups: Africa, Colombia, and Ecuador. I am leading the Ecuador team with another leader and am very excited about it! Please keep our groups in prayer that we find the correct contacts in each location and that God leads each outreach! Thanks so much for your prayers! God bless you all!
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